WRONG!!
Yes, our bodies naturally prepare for breastfeeding when we have a baby [some in different capacities than others] but that doesn't mean that it comes easily for everybody.
It didn't for me. At least not with my first daughter.
Between the two of us, we just couldn't figure it out. After a few days of pure torture, I went to visit a lactation consultant who gave me a few tips and I had renewed hope that this was going to work. However, upon returning home and trying it on my own - without the lactation consultant's help - it once again proved to be a failure.
At the risk of getting a bit graphic...my daughter had literally ripped my nipples to shreds and every single second of every single feeding was extremely painful. And since the feedings were l-o-n-g, the torture seemed never-ending. She cried the entire time, I cried the entire time...and just when I thought I could have a break from it, it was time for the next feeding. My first experiences of being a Mom brought nothing but bitterness. My troubles with nursing my daughter was having a negative impact on me bonding with her and there were times when I literally didn't want to be anywhere near her.
Hard to admit, but it was true.
After a repeat visit to the lactation consultant, I was advised to take a week off from nursing to allow my destroyed nipples to heal. So we rented an electric pump and that was my life for the next week. Pumping and bottle-feeding. Pumping and bottle-feeding...and oh yeah, lots of crying.
At the end of that week, back to the consultant I went and she helped me get my baby latched back on. But after a week of being bottle-fed, she had now had the bottle just as long as she had my breast and it was clear pretty early on that this was not going to have a successful turnout.
I did try again when I got home, but the immediate pain that once again ensued was enough to drive me to a mental breakdown. And I knew that I could not be the mother that my baby needed if I continued to breastfeed her. The bond I had made with her right after her birth was dwindling right before my eyes and it was heart-breaking to not feel towards her the way I knew I should be feeling.
So with gut-wrenching sobs, with my daughter only 2 weeks old, I made the decision to switch to formula. And instantaneously I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I felt my bitterness towards my child melt away and I was filled with nothing but love for my bundle of joy.
And I did not regret making that decision. Not for one single second.
Did I feel judged? Sometimes. Did I get comments that I should try it again; that it often takes up to 6 weeks to get the hang of it? Did I feel like people thought I gave up too quickly? Yup, sure did. Did I care? Nope, not at all. I was a much happier, relaxed Mom and my daughter was now getting something more important from me than my breastmilk.
"Breast is best" is a phrase that we have all heard many times. And I agree - it IS best...if it works.
YES, breastfeeding rocks. It's a wonderful experience and I wish all women would know what it's like. But as a Mom who has experienced both extremes, I want to encourage those of you who are struggling with it that only you as the mother can make this decision. You know what is best for your child - to keep plugging through, or to make the switch. And regardless which option you choose, make sure you have someone supporting you along the way.
~Andi
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Do you have questions about breastfeeding? Here is a link to an article I found that might have some of the answers you are looking for.
And if you're looking for some nursing products - look no further! Tiny TreeHugger has washable nursing pads (AppleCheeks and Knickernappies ones), Delish Naturals Nipple Soothe Balm, nursing necklaces and of course Udder Covers Nursing Covers.
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