Honouring Mothers: Jenni's Story

I have struggled with the pain of endometriosis since puberty. All my female relatives on both sides of the family had lost their uterus by 30. Due to such a high genetic probability of complications my sister and I were both put on birth control pills at 14 in the hopes it would slow down its advancement. We were told if we wanted to have children to have them early.

Time flew by. I married my husband at 28 in 2010 but was waiting for a permanent teaching contract before trying for a family. No contract was insight when I had my period for the entire month of February 2011.  My doctor told me I could try for a baby or she was going to go in and "scrape" the endometriosis lesions. If there was too much she would have to take my uterus.

So instead we tried for a baby. I was terrified it would take forever. My cousins tried for years but it only took us 3 months to get pregnant. I had a wonderful typical pregnancy.

Jan. 31, 2012, two days before Beanie's due date, contractions started at 3 am. It was mostly back labour. At 10 am, contractions were 5-7 mins apart and we made our way to the hospital. We stayed for several hours, walking the halls, however, I wasn't dilating so they sent me home. Several times over the next couple of days, we would go back to the hospital, 50 mins away from home, and be sent back because I wasn't dilating. Friday night, Feb. 3rd, we went back and I refused to leave. The OB on call, "accidently on purpose" broke my water and I finally started to dilate. Despite my original natural birth plan, they gave me an epidural and morphine, which allowed me to get some rest for the first time in 4 days.

Feb. 4th, Saturday morning at 8:30am I started pushing. After 2 1/2 hours of pushing, Beanie was good and stuck because she compacted, meaning her arm was above her head, and posterior. They had a specialist come in and try to turn her. He got her half way. The specialist and the OB started arguing about what to do. The specialist wanted to do an emergency C-section but the OB wanted to try forceps. The specialist was, "No, this girl has been labouring for too long, the baby is too stuck, we will lose them." The OB was all, "No, she can do it." The compromise was trial by forceps in the OR. They began to prep me for surgery and I was all, "Can I still push?" and they team was all, "Go for it."

As I was about to get wheeled to the ER, the nurse noticed, "This baby is coming!"

At 11:56 am, with a full room of people, doctors, student doctors, nurses, the neonatal team, I managed to get her out. They whisked her away because she was 1 on the scale and they had to recussitate her.They didn't even tell me if she was a boy or a girl. It was very traumatizing. After what felt like forever, she finally cried and they laid her on my chest. She was severely cone headed, black and blue and required physio for her compacted arm but she was beautiful.

I love her so much. I am internally grateful for her, even if I was in labour for 5 days.

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Wow, Jenni - what a story! Thanks for sending that in as an entry to win a $20 gift certificate to our shop. Thank you to the rest of you who also participated. Entries were accepted until 11:59pm last night...stay tuned for the winner!

Honouring Mothers: Jane's Story

Like other stories on your blog, my husband and I have also struggled with infertility, went through all the tests and were referred to Heartland.  We endured the wait to be seen, the wait to do the tests, the wait to go through the procedures and meanwhile my biological clock was going tick, tick, tick.  

Not only were we dealing with the fertility drugs and tests, I was trying other things like acupuncture, herbal teas, yoga, physiotherapy, all in hopes of trying to boost our fertility.  After a long discussion with my husband when he pointed out that I was going a little insane, I realized I was taking on the full responsibility of our future family.  This was very stressful to say the least which probably contributed even more to the problem.

Around the same time, we attended an information evening at Adoption Options Manitoba and learned about private domestic adoption.  It took us a month or two to sort it all out in our heads and hearts, but we decided that this was an option we wanted to look at.  I think it was meant to be because in just over a year, we brought home our son when he was 3 days old.  He is now two years old and the love of our lives.

I find Mother’s Day to be full of very mixed emotions which have only become more complicated since we adopted.  I remember all those years of trying to bury the pain on Mother’s day.  I’ve identified with the pain of all of those who are desperate to be able to celebrate the day.  I have the joy of finally being able to celebrate as a mother.  But I also have seen the pain that is felt by mothers who have made the hardest decision any mother can make – to place their child in other peoples’ hands because it is best for the child.  They are the mothers who probably have the hardest time dealing with Mother’s Day because they have made the ultimate sacrifice for their child by putting the child’s needs ahead of their own, which is ultimately the true definition of a mother.  

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Thank you for that, Jane...it was our first story of adoption - beautiful! Thanks for entering to win a $20 gift certificate to our shop. As for the rest of you - get your story in...contest ends May 12th at 11:59pm! Click here for all of the details. Everyone has a story to tell...we'd love to hear yours!

Honouring Mothers: Krista's Story

 I was with a great guy who I thought I was in love with. I would spend the night, we would cuddle. I thought we were growing close. We had said our "I love yous" early on in our relationship.  Than one day he stopped answering my texts/phone calls. He told me he was done and did not want to date me anymore.
So with heartbreak I moved on. I thought this would be the last time I saw him. Boy was I wrong!

A week after we broke up I bought a pregnancy test and sat on the toilet and watched the two although faint pink lines show up. I didn't know what to do. I called my best friend and he came over and helped me through it all. 

 

I was still in college, sharing a house with a bunch of people, I was in no position to bring a child into the world. 

First thing I did was call my ex and tell him I was pregnant. I was told to abort that he didn't want this baby. 

I cried and cried. I believe in a woman's choice but I could not choose abortion. I was born to be a mother. I had dreamed of this very moment most of my life. I chose to keep the baby and deal with whatever came my way. I was in the last year of college. I could do this. I looked down at my belly that day and promised this peanut I would focus on him/her.

   

I eventually heard from my ex who said when the baby was here he wanted a blood test. He didn't believe it was his. I was a mess when he said that. It destroyed me. I had at the moment loved him. How could he say such a thing? So it was clear reconciliation was not going to happen. 

 

I brushed myself off and said I could do it by myself. One way or another. I will wait to find the love I had been searching for. Little did I know that one the guys who was moving in to the house would change my life forever. He was tall, handsome and extremely intelligent. We found ourselves talking about politics and hanging out. Than Halloween night in 2008 we decided to date.

 

I burst out in tears, preparing for him to toss me aside. Who would want to date someone who was 3 months pregnant with another mans baby?! He assured me that he didn't care. We continued to date. I told him in all honesty and. sincerity that if he could not handle it that I would understand. I did. I would understand if he needed to walk away. So we enjoyed our time together even as my belly grew.  Through the mood swings and other not very sexy pregnancy symptoms he was beside me.

   

I kept my distance and a shield over my heart until one night. It was after he returned from a trip to see his parents in Alberta, we lived in Ontario. We cuddled and he told me that he had a talk with his parents. In the end his father asked him if other than me being pregnant if I was perfect for him. He said yes and when I heard that I was able to let go of my apprehension and we continued our journey together.

   

We had our bumps (and I clearly had mine) and finally the day came when it was time to deliver. He brought me to the hospital,  stood by my side. Laughed at my silliness while hopped up on pain killers. My son was born at 10:30am. I looked over at my boyfriend and tears were rolling down his face. I fell even more in love with his man. Even as he held my son.

Little did I know that my son and him would become inseparable and have such an amazing relationship. Calling him daddy too. My son has an evolving relationship with his biological father but this is special.

 

Two years later we welcomed a beautiful baby girl. Who is a perfect addition to our family. Our children are the surprising results of my decision to keep my son. I was scared that day, sad and full of questions. Today I have the answers to the questions I had been trying to figure out that day.

  

I am a stay at home mom,  my husband works and I have the joy of watching them grow everyday and I help shape them as people. I would not change a thing. Indeed every Mother's Day I remember those two pink lines and the fear I had and appreciate it even more.

  

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Thank you for sharing your story, Krista! And you too have now been entered to win a $20 gift certificate to our shop. As for the rest of you - there's still time! Click here for all of the details. Everyone has a story to tell...we'd love to hear yours!

 

Honouring Mothers: Angela's Story

I never wanted to be a mother.  At least that's what I told myself and my boyfriend when I was eighteen.  I mean, who would want kids right?  They're messy, loud and so needy. As an eighteen year old, I was interested in only a few things: myself (what 18 year old isn't superficial?), my friends and the bar.  Kids would not fit into this.  Lucky for me, my boyfriend agreed that we wouldn't have children.

Fast forward ten years.  We were now married (on our 10th year anniversary), but children were still not a topic of conversation in our relationship.  That is until my niece was born. I can't exactly describe the feeling I had when I first met her, but I knew when I looked at her little face, I wanted one of my own.

Now remember, my husband didn't want any children and now his wife (who he assumed was on the same page as him) was asking for a child.  It took two years to finally convince him to start having a family of our own.  Great!  So I should just go off birth control and poof!  I'll be pregnant right?  Not even close.  Month after month, I would stare at a minus sign on those pregnancy sticks.  I would look at it for a long time thinking I must have done something wrong in order for it to be a negative sign.  I thought, "Did I pee on it long enough?  Maybe if I tilt it downwards, it'd show a positive sign." Still nothing.

After one year of trying, we decided that we needed help, so a referral to the Heartland Fertility Clinic was made.  The wait times were very long so we needed to wait another five more months to get in to see a doctor.  I was stressed, but we kept trying for our baby. After trying for five more months, I was still seeing negative signs...... Until December 20, 2009- one day before our appointment with the Heartland Fertility Clinic.  We were overjoyed!  The doctor at Heartland was quite impressed that his 'job was done' and closed our file.  Nine months later, we welcomed our beautiful baby girl.

We agreed that we would only have one child.  However, two years and four months after our daughter's arrival, we welcomed her brother into the world.  He was a complete surprise to us (we'll save his story for another day) and he made our family complete.

My house is often messy (the dishes can always wait), it is VERY loud (I think we all love to hear ourselves talk) and my children are constantly asking for help with something.  And I would not want it any other way.  I am so very happy with my family and I am blessed to be a mother!

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Thank you for sharing your story, Angela! As a thank you, you have qualified to be entered to win a $20 gift certificate to our shop. As for the rest of you - you can enter too! Click here for all of the details. We hope to have our inbox [info@tinytreehuggerdiapers.com] flooded with entries - everyone has a story to tell...we'd love to hear yours!