So with heartbreak I moved on. I thought this would be the last time I saw him. Boy was I wrong!
A week after we broke up I bought a pregnancy test and sat on the toilet and watched the two although faint pink lines show up. I didn't know what to do. I called my best friend and he came over and helped me through it all.
I was still in college, sharing a house with a bunch of
people, I was in no position to bring a child into the world.
First thing I did was call my ex and tell him I was pregnant. I was told to abort that he didn't want this baby.
I cried and cried. I believe in a woman's choice but I
could not choose abortion. I was born to be a mother. I had
dreamed of this very moment most of my life. I chose to keep the baby and deal with whatever came my
way. I was in the last year of college. I could do this. I looked down at my belly that day and promised this
peanut I would focus on him/her.
I eventually heard from my ex who said when the baby
was here he wanted a blood test. He didn't believe it was his.
I was a mess when he said that. It destroyed me. I had at the
moment loved him. How could he say such a thing? So it was
clear reconciliation was not going to happen.
I brushed myself off and said I could do it by myself.
One way or another. I will wait to find the love I had been
searching for. Little did I know that one the guys who was moving in
to the house would change my life forever. He was tall, handsome and extremely intelligent. We
found ourselves talking about politics and hanging out. Than Halloween night in 2008 we decided to date.
I burst out in tears, preparing for him to toss me
aside. Who would want to date someone who was 3 months
pregnant with another mans baby?! He assured me that he didn't care. We continued to
date. I told him in all honesty and. sincerity that if he
could not handle it that I would understand. I did. I would
understand if he needed to walk away. So we enjoyed our time
together even as my belly grew. Through the mood swings and
other not very sexy pregnancy symptoms he was beside me.
I kept my distance and a shield over my heart until one
night. It was after he returned from a trip to see his parents
in Alberta, we lived in Ontario. We cuddled and he told me
that he had a talk with his parents. In the end his father
asked him if other than me being pregnant if I was perfect for
him. He said yes and when I heard that I was able to let go of
my apprehension and we continued our journey together.
We had our bumps (and I clearly had mine) and finally
the day came when it was time to deliver. He brought me to the hospital, stood by my side.
Laughed at my silliness while hopped up on pain killers. My son was born at 10:30am. I looked over at my
boyfriend and tears were rolling down his face. I fell even
more in love with his man. Even as he held my son.
Little did I know that my son and him would become
inseparable and have such an amazing relationship. Calling him
daddy too. My son has an evolving relationship with his biological
father but this is special.
Two years later we welcomed a beautiful baby girl. Who
is a perfect addition to our family. Our children are the surprising results of my decision
to keep my son. I was scared that day, sad and full of
questions. Today I have the answers to the questions I had
been trying to figure out that day.
I am a stay at home mom, my husband works and I have
the joy of watching them grow everyday and I help shape them
as people. I would not change a thing. Indeed every Mother's Day I
remember those two pink lines and the fear I had and
appreciate it even more.
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